Full Factor

You will never guess what happened…

While shopping for house wares with my secret gay husband…Yes, he knows he’s gay. The secret was, at one time he didn’t know we were an old married couple and we are destined to spend the rest of our lives together, whether he liked it or not. I’ve since brought him up to speed. …Anyway, we were looking at curtain rods for his new apartment when I hear a familiar voice calling my name…

Do you remember that loose-legged feeling you would get as a kid just as you were caught doing something wrong? Not me of course, I was a perfect angel. The sensation is akin to that time when you played hooky from Junior High because you really weren’t feeling the Social Studies test or P.E. (it was field hockey that day and your shins were still bloody from the last game), so you decide to take some much deserved time off, a “mental health day” if you will, and go to the local theater to see what’s the big hype about “Purple Rain”, which you enjoy but don’t think Prince is “all that”, when you bump into your really uptight 3^rd period teacher … yeah, that feeling.

It was like an episode of “Fear Factor” because the voice belonged to my Hair Doctor who the beast U²CH (unimaginably unmanageable curly hair) has not had a check up with in one year.

Oh the familiar, pungent flavor of irony. Perhaps I should write a fantasy blog about winning the lotto.

The doctor was lovely and gracious as always and wanted to know if I was well and exclaimed how much he missed seeing me. He is so good with the guilt. I have his next available appointment.

So I’m still making felt and feeling pretty scientific about it too…

I am in love with felted Baby Alpaca: high homina factor. The Malabrigo experiment is going well.

I’ve created swatches of different gauges to full. Notice the machine washable cord running around the blue stitches on the photo above? I realized just as I was throwing them into the wash, I might have a difficult time counting the stitches after I’ve made little felt tiles. Fulbright scholar, I tell you.

Sandy found an errant Merino Kid hat that was made for a cone head.

I think its sentence should be disembowelment. I’ll attempt to resurrect it into something lentil shaped.

Stay tuned kids; tomorrow we’ll discover the AMAZING WORLD OF FELT!

I've Felt Better

I seriously need to examine my inexhaustible level of denial.

I’m not in denial about my curly hair. I’ve wasted years ironing, blow-drying, and painting it with chemicals for a few moments of straightness. My formative years were filled with the smell of burning hair. I’ve learned from those experiences I will always have curly hair.

I am in denial about how to care for curly hair. One would think I would gain the skills over the course of time as my head has always, even from birth, had hair. Evidently, not so much. I vow to see the hair doctor as soon as humanly possible.

Those who suffer from unimaginably unmanageable curly hair, or U²CH, will attest to the reality; human hair felts. I felts for putting it to bed wet. I felts for swimming. I felts for not feeding it enormous amounts of conditioner. I felts for not feeding it deep conditioner when it has a hankering for it. I felts if you go into moist tropical places. I felts for photo shoots . Yes, U²CH not only has violent mood swings, it is also psychic and will habitually felt before any photo. Example:

*sigh*

Okay, moving on... Due to the fact that I desperately need to visit the hair doctor, I’ve been thinking about felting. As mentioned previously, I’m making some throw pillows for my living room that will double as extra seating, and I want to pretty them up with flowers. I think I’ll experiment with the Jamieson’s, Hifa, and Rowan (perhaps?). I’m also playing with a potential felted handbag design so I have an excuse to buy the handles and experimenting with Baby Alpaca and Malabrigo Chunky for gifts for my nephews.

Question:

Does one gift an infant with a teal hat, and a 5 year old with a blue one? Will the 5 year old believe he is being slighted the other “blue” hat that will of course not fit him only because he believes it to be the prettier blue? One cannot fathom the fashion decisions of 5 year old boys.

Update! I've seen the hair doctor who surgically removed about 6 inches of "felted animal" that was attached to the back of my head. The hair feels lovely and light. So much so, that it now defies gravity. yay...

Handy Reading

Caution: Rant ahead. Use blinkers.

I’m a reader.

I read a lot and I’m not too picky about the source. I enjoy classic literature, magazines, subtitles, blogs, as well as the inconsequential minutiae on boxes of dry goods (seriously Annie Chun’s Miso Soup FreshPak Noodle Bowl is fascinating). If I learn something or expose myself to a new way of thinking, then it’s good reading.

What’s more, I realize there are others in the world who read as well. So, I try (probably don’t succeed much) to give voice to good and noble thoughts.

Whoa Nellie, I just read myself and boy did it seem pretentious! Let me explain…

It started in a creative writing class in college, with a sage professor who carefully explained and illustrated the power of words.This scholar systematically showed each of us the prejudices we developed (through no fault of our own) from societal pressures and perceptions. One never writes about (gives voice to) thoughts that malign or degrades others. Words can traduce a person to believe an untruth, or more often, disbelieve in themselves. I am grateful to have met such a wise woman.

Did I catch anyone there? Did you lull yourself into thinking my professor was male?

The point… thank heavens, she finally gets to it… I am trying to make is people will always have their tired old prejudices and narrow mined thoughts, however one should not help to perpetuate those views by making light of them in text, especially when it was someone else’s view. It gives permission to readers to believe these views are okay.

Therefore, I am saddened by some of the comments of book reviewers (that men and women equally hold) which questions the sexuality of male knitters. People forget history. Should we question the sexuality of women who can repair their motor vehicles, or should we call them handy? I’ll let you decide.

Meanwhile, back on the road to Knitopia…

Now that I’ve carefully stored away my soapbox in a safe place, look at these new books!

OMG! I love it when the new book fairy arrives.

So far I adore “The Best of Interweave Knits”, edited by Ann Budd who also authored another new favorite from her getting started series: “Getting Started Knitting Socks”. Like her other books “Getting Started Knitting Socks”, is a library treasure. Clear instructions, beautiful photos, where a knitter can pick any yarn, knit any size, and add any detail to make unique socks. Lovely.

Speaking of socks, “More Sensational Knitted Socks” by Charlene Schurch is a keeper as well. Until this book was printed, I would always tell customers “Sensational Knitted Socks” was my favorite sock book. Now I’ll have two.

Cat Bordhi’s “New Pathways for Sock Knitters: Book One” is certain to get attention. All of the inspirational designs and ideas make my little brain throb with possibilities. Don’t worry, I assure you like roller coasters, I find it a pleasurable experience.

With so many great books out right now, it might be confusing which one to buy. Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. It’s “The Knitting Man(ual)” by PDX design maven Kristin Spurkland. Just look at the pretty:

I know! That sweater is so hot!

The pic at the top is my favorite. As I float off to my “happy place” I imagine the dashing Willoughby snatching me up, cold, wet and injured from the moors, and spiriting me away to his lovely estate where he alternately brews tea and bakes crumpets for me, while he knits this vest. That Willoughby is so handy.